Identifying what’s wrong with a situation—including the attitude and actions of the people involved—is absolutely necessary in our lives. But if we’re too quick, we risk misjudging and harming those people. I’ve certainly done it. I’ve also been on the receiving end.
If we’re quick to judge, we’re upping the odds that we’ll misdiagnose and seriously 'hurt someone'.
How often do we judge before we have all the facts? I see it all the time. Something hits us the wrong way, and we jump to criticize.
But do we know all the relevant details? Even more problematic, do we know the motivations behind what’s happened?
Judging on incomplete information is counterproductive—and sometimes worse.
Before we make a move, we should make certain we have enough information. If circumstances force us to move without all the details, we should be humble, open to correction, and ready to change our opinion.
We Often Project Our Own Issues
We all have hangups, faults, and pet peeves. And because we’re so familiar with our own issues, we tend to notice them everywhere we turn, even—especially—in others.
The more we have it ourselves, the more we dislike it in others. And it’s not just pride. Most failings are like that.
When we don’t have the full story, we often fill in the blanks with our own issues. It’s unconscious, but suddenly we’ve assigned motives and condemned someone when we are really just imagining things.
We Usually Regret It Later
If we realize our misdiagnosis, regret comes next.
By jumping the gun, we might have harmed relationships that will now have to be mended. Thankfully, there’s a simple process for making things right when we blow it. But we can’t be cavalier. Apologies are like car airbags—good to have but best if never needed.
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